(W)Hole Inside


The pilot took a wide circle far above the Grand Canyon. I marveled at the jagged layers of rock. Even from thousands of feet above, the canyon was incredibly deep and I could see the ribbon of the Colorado River.

Dad had wanted to take us there as children, but we never did. Now decades later, I was seeing it on the way to Tucson to make his funeral arrangements.




Traveling alone allowed my thoughts free reign. Having a window seat made it even easier. The jet made another large circle—this time above the airport. Despite the noontime sun, I felt like was descending into a dark hole.  Worse yet, the dark hole was inside me. I wondered why God allowed dark holes. Wasn’t He supposed to help prevent those? I inwardly complained that if my faith was worth anything, now was the time it needed to kick in.



I grabbed my bag from the overhead bin and asked God to give me whatever I needed since I didn’t seem to have a clue what that might be. I just wanted to stay on the plane and keep circling above all of this.

Life can dig some pretty deep holes. Disease. Divorce. Death. Pain. Poverty.  I was familiar with dark holes. I hated the feelings that came out of them, so I tried to fill them. I tried some of the world’s fillers….but that left me worse off than before.  Holes are just downright tough times.





But as I walked out of the airport, I finally let God use my dark hole. He didn’t make it go away; instead He planted something inside it. God gave me the seeds of goodness (which I needed), offered the nurturing soil of His kindness, and watered it with His grace. Life didn't suddenly get easy, but it did get much better. Eventually that dark hole produced a harvest of peace. I still have that peace today…years later. 

I know that life will bring more dark holes. But if I let God be my gardener, I know those dark holes can be planted with good seeds—yielding a good harvest. And the best part about a harvest? You can share the bounty. So if someone you know has a dark hole inside, tell them about the Gardener. He’s got plenty of good seeds.


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