Showing posts from December, 2010

New Year’s Eve Midnight Vision

Each New Year’s Eve I spend time reflecting. I like to evaluate where I’ve been and where I hope to go. It was on my 21st New Year’s Eve when I realized that the upcoming New Year would bring far greater changes than ever before.
I would soon be in my final months of college. My whole life had been cocooned in school. Now I’d be on my own. Well, not exactly on my own. I had gotten married earlier in the year, so now I shared this uncertain future with the man I always wanted next to me.
On that New Year's Eve we climbed to the top of the Evergreen clock tower to contemplate our hopes. From that vantage, we could watch the huge hands shift minute by minute towards the twelve. Just ahead: more chances and choices. We gazed out into the darkness as we imagined how it all would happen.
Had we known what was out there would we have changed our minds or direction? We couldn’t see the disrupted dreams or the prayers that weren’t to be granted. We didn’t see the broken budgets or darkly ve…

The Christmas I didn’t feel like celebrating

December had just arrived when I got the call that Grandma was gravely ill. I knew this day would come—for she was now in her 90’s, but nothing would ever replace the sound of her voice, the hard work of her hands, or the faith she expressed in her words.
I felt defeated and somehow sensed I was losing more than my grandma, I would be losing someone who had known me from my birth and helped me see things I sometimes missed.
The holiday spirit might have been happening around me, but it didn’t arrive in my heart. The carols were playing but I didn’t hear the music. The twinkling lights were strung everywhere I looked, but I couldn’t bring myself to open up the boxes of decorations for my own home. I didn’t feel like celebrating. It wasn’t the same and I didn’t want to pretend that it was. Just 10 days before Christmas she passed on. Her journey here was over. When I considered her life and all that she had seen, she had to have been tired and ready to go Home. Her wish was to be buried …

Lead me not into temptation...please?

December used to be my month of intense temptation-- to overeat and overspend. Sweets were definitely the worst. Years ago I could be held hostage by a plate of Christmas cookies. Now, thankfully, I have that one under control, but like Whack-A- Mole, another temptation comes to take its place.
Temptation sometimes tastes good. It can be chewed, swallowed or smoked. It can be wrapped in shiny paper and bows. You can wear something tempting; someone else can wear the temptation. Sometimes temptation is hiding in the shadows, other times it’s as obvious as the TV or computer. It’s tempting to be lazy just as it’s tempting to be a workaholic for money’s sake. Temptation subtly twists good things, like exercise, into addictions. Temptation can be a person, place or thing.
It begins young. I remember watching my grandson sneak fudge out of the refrigerator. He was tempted and in his 3-year-old mind, it was worth the risk. I was no different. And as I got older, the only thing that cha…

The best move I ever made

A hand crafted little log cabin nestled in the woods. It’s the stuff that makes one think of vacations, hunting trips, or getting away from it all. A place you’d love to visit. But would you want to stay….permanently?
It’s been fifteen years since I made the move that changed everything. It was not just any move; it was a drastic move. From a spacious house to a tiny cabin. From an arid climate to a much wetter one. From being in the center of our business industry to being connected via computers. Life-changing indeed.
Our family of four suddenly had dramatically new lives. Many stories can be told about our “adjustments”.I think each of us dealt with wondering how life might have looked without a cabin in the woods as part of it. But we never turned back.
There are many “moves” we make in life that can change our lives.Our choices are opportunities to show what we value. Moving changed where I lived and it helped me change who I was.Before the move my life had focused on things that s…