Red Flags in Fifty Shades of Grey

www.dumpaday.com    


Millions (of mostly women) have read E.L. James’ Fifty Shades erotica trilogy. I’m not one of them, but I’ve talked to some who have. Plus at least a dozen email links about it have been sent to me asking for my opinion. 

It’s never fair to review something you haven’t read, but one mom was deeply concerned about the perceptions her older teen daughter now has about men, sex, and real love.







Adults have the freedom to read, view, and enjoy the entertainment of their choice. While we may not like all the entertainment options, at least we can choose. Children sometimes make these choices without knowing the consequences.


By definition, erotica is literature (or art) that is sexually explicit. Erotica is designed to heighten the sexual response of readers (or viewers).  Pornography ranges from soft porn to hard core. 

Today, 30% of porn users are women. According to some US statistics, forty million men currently watch pornography on a regular basis. Not everyone becomes addicted, but those who are find it nearly impossible to achieve sexual satisfaction without it. Brain scans of porn addicts look nearly like those of cocaine addicts.

We can disagree on whether something is pornographic or not, but there’s no argument that porn changes lives. And porn exposure in younger kids is alarming.



So, getting back to Fifty Shades of Grey, this is a romance novel that glorifies bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism (BDSM). This isn’t a “normal” sexual scenario—or a normal romance novel. At. All. 

The lead character became obsessed with this particular perversion because of abuse he experienced as a teen. Abuse often begets abuse. There are no shades of grey with abuse. At. All.






Could Fifty Shades of Grey potentially normalize BDSM sexuality in some people? That’s what worried the mom about her teen daughter. She wanted her daughter to know that she should never have to submit to abuse. 

Fifty Shades of Grey’s BDSM sexual “entertainment” may be scintillating to some, but what many fear is that this kind of behavior could become normalized. Erotic entertainment has increased exponentially and with it, porn addiction. As a result, there’s been an increase in the exploitation of women and children. There are no shades of grey with exploitation. It’s just wrong. 

We can’t say the author didn’t warn us when she said her books will  “obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.”

But is that what we really want?

Popular posts from this blog

Dreaming the Dream

Image
Dreaming big dreams about the future is easy for kids. The only thing standing in the way is time.  Kid’s dreams are not about skills, or opportunities, or even practicality. Those things come much later.  My grandson hopes to be professional soccer player when he grows up. This week, a small piece of his dream came true when his Boys and Girls Club was invited to participate in pre-game activities with the Seattle Sounders Football Club.  He got to suit up in a real jersey and walk on the field with a real pro player. Imagine a young soccer player looking up to who he hopes to be one day. If you haven’t taken the time to talk to a child about their future dreams—you should.  They believe. As we get older we sometimes forget that dreams fuel our hopes—and that's something we all need. So, do you still dream? Or have you left those childhood thoughts behind?  S pending time with children will  inspire you to believe agai
Read more

Sexy Selfies: Posting for attention

Image
We’ve all seen the “selfie” pix on Facebook—those self-taken images in varying forms of dress (or undress). Usually they’re female poses taken in public restrooms, dressing rooms, bedrooms, and lots of what used to be private space. Thanks to selfies and social media, it’s open season on privacy—and modesty. Do you have a social media “friend” who has become a serial selfie? Most often selfies are young girls sharing their sexiness with the world. Serial selfies post hundreds of pictures, so it’s hard to ignore the display. The question is why do they do it. While I don’t approve of the sexy display of serial selfies, insecurity is at the root. Selfies collect “likes” to boost morale. The attention received is like a balm to their broken spirits. But the dark side of exhibitionism is feeling used—not unlike the girl searching for love and giving away her body in hopes of finding love. Selfies seek approval. They're locked in a perpetual cycle of posting pi
Read more

Wild or Tame? Which One Are You?

Image
Finally! Research that explains why I act the way I do. Columbia University’s Motivational Science Center studied people’s activities and what brought them the most happiness. Even more telling were how those activities changed as they aged. Twenty-somethings tend to equate happiness with high-energy activities. Words like excited and ecstatic are usually attached to spontaneous things—even risky things—and living life full throttle.  Researchers labeled this Promotion Motivation —the urge to take chances, including career moves that may not work out. Happiness comes from happenings—the more happenings, the more happiness. By age forty, adults associate happiness with things running smoothly at work and home. It’s also about feeling secure in relationships. Keeping healthy matters more too. This behavior is called Prevention Motivation —and people are more concerned with preserving and maintaining the things they value. It appears that time ofte
Read more