Uncle Sam is not a Father

As I sipped coffee while sitting in the shop’s window seat, I observed a young mom huddled beneath the bus shelter across the street. Holding onto her legs was a little boy bundled up against the rain, but nevertheless looking miserable. 

I watched a bus rumble up and the two boarded. As they drove past, mom and boy looked as bleak as the rainy day. I wondered when life would get easier for them, if ever.

Apologies to women who are rightfully using the government benefits they desperately need to raise their kids. 

This isn’t about you. 

It’s about absentee fathers who are abdicating their responsibilities. 

Instead of marrying the father of their kids, women have married state and federal programs just to be sustained in near poverty. And we see the results in our schools, community shelters, and prisons. 

Sorry, Uncle Sam doesn’t make a good father. 

Ask any of these women existing on rent support, food vouchers, and medicaid health plans if they are “making it” and they would emphatically say “no”. 

A young mom told me that men fall into two categories: players or stayers. The players are the ones who enjoy living life on their terms and if kids result from their playtime it’s not their concern. 

The stayers are the ones who get married, stick around to help raise the kids and help pay the bills—often raising other men’s kids. 

Sadly, our national policies encourage more players than stayers.

Until we hold fathers accountable we’ll continue to be repairing lives—whether it’s in school classrooms, drug treatment centers, or worse, our prisons.

As I left the coffee shop, I prayed that the young mom and boy would be the exception to the rule and life would get better, not get broken. 

Because we know that when someone’s life breaks it generally breaks the lives of those around them too.