Fight Right

When a newlywed friend asked me about marital fights, I said money causes a lot of them. Unfortunately, I was able to give her a fresh example of what not to do.

Here’s what happened: On a sunny afternoon, my hubby and I went to the garbage dump. Smile all you want, but getting out for a drive, even heading to the dump can be fun. Until now.

Our truck was chock-full of partially odorous plastics, glass bottles, and paper to recycle along with a few bags of garbage to dump. It took just 10 minutes to put the recycle in the appropriate bins and dump the rest. After hubby paid the dump charges a “discussion” ensued.

Hubby: Why should we make these recycling trips when we can have it picked up?

Instead of paying for recycle pickup, I’ve always taken it to the recycling area for free. I actually enjoy this little chore, weird as that sounds.

Our discussion evaluated things like cost versus time, etcetera. With that assessment, I lose. I mean, why not have someone else do my recycling for a relatively small charge?

But what stunk more than the residual scent of our garbage, was my reaction. Debating is my default buttonwith points delivered using a slightly condescending tone. My "free recycling" cost way more in hurt feelings.

I should be happy that my husband values my time more than my penchant for sorting plastic, glass, and paper. I apologized.   

So here’s my advice: Be a peacemaker when discussing solutions and smile afterwards. Oh, and one more thing....marriage isn't a debate competition, so don’t get the best of someone; be the best for someone.

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.    Proverbs 12:18

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